Breeze

She sat there, resting in the hammock that he had built her on his last visit. She was wondering what he was doing then, if he was hurt. She internally scolded her self, think good things she said. Not a single leaf was moving today, there was no breeze, only a sullen silence.

She was about to get up and go back inside the house, she still had dinner to prepare and clothes to wash, lying there in his memories was not a luxury she could afford. Just when she was about to put the gas on , there was a knock on the door. It was her father, there was a tall man holding him up. She couldn't register what was happening.

"He's just had too much to drink" the man said.

"He'll be fine, you should let him sleep the night out" he said reassuringly. He was just about to excuse himself out of her house when she said a weak "Thank you." He just smiled and was out on his way in no time.

She took the shoes off from her father's feet and watched his rhythmic breathing, she remembered the first time she had found him at the bar, the day that had probably changed her life. 

This story is part of a series I am trying to write. To read the earlier pieces of this click on Desinence

Letters

I’ve been keeping all the letters I wrote to you,
Each one a line or two,
I’m fine baby how are you?
But I know that its just not enough
My words are cold and flat and you deserve more than that

He was writing that letter for the hundred time now. Every time he tried to put different words on the paper, every time he tried to explain things differently. He could never reach the end of the letter, he could never complete it, cause something or someone always demanded his attention before he could.

There was so much he wanted to tell her but the words didn’t come out right. He was a completely new person now from when he had met her, he wondered if she would still understand, if she would notice the changes at all. She is waiting for him she had said in the last letter, he had read it over and over. She was waiting for him and that was all the reassurance he needed but even as he was writing to the love of his life, words failed him.

The first time he tried, he wrote about the life he was leading, the routine and the funny stories that he knew she wouldn’t understand , you had to be there to get the jokes. The next time he tried to ask about her, and how she had been but he didn’t think that was any good either. He wanted to tell her how much she meant to him but he wondered if that was the right thing to do, what if he didn’t make it, what if he didn’t survive this? Would it be fair to keep her waiting? Just when he had put the letters away he heard the first gunshot of the night, he had to rush. He dressed and armed himself in a hurry and within seconds he had joined his troop. One of them had been shot, the enemy had attacked at night even when they had agreed not to. You could never trust them.

It was his dream to join the army, he had aced the entrance exam and was recommended by the entire panel after his interview. He had met her only days before his final interview and he had to report for the training only a month later. That was the best month of his life, they had spent every waking moment together.  He was her first love and she was going to be his last. Once the firing ceased he was back in his billet, this time determined to write something for her, he used to write poetry in his training days and sing them to her over the billet phones even when his friends hovered for their turn to make a call. He imagined her smiling when she would receive the letter and it brought the most radiant smile on his face too. He wrote:

I know I haven’t written to you for long , and I apologize, there is no time here but believe me when I say I have tried many times to write to you. I am fine and I hope you are too. There are days I really miss being with you and want to just run back to you but I chose this for myself and I must see it to the end. 

You are the most beautiful person I have known, and the thought that there is someone like you waiting for me when I’m back is what keeps me going each day over here. I need to go now the Chief has asked for me , I love you.

No poetry ever written,

Could adequately capture,

What your presence

Has done to my life.

Love, Me

Sidenote:  I always want to write a series but no theme/story ever appealed to me. I am trying again with this, it is the only piece I have written so far and more is to follow. Sometime from his point of view and sometimes from hers. 

Banarasiya

Back in school my friends had these really cool boyfriends who played for the football teams and had heart melting smiles and made you want to be like those intense women from operas. In school I was above all of it. The tomboy with more GI-Joes than Barbies. The girl who cared less about how beautifully her dress flowed and more about winning a Harry Potter argument. I was a buddy. A buddy is someone who has only guy friends all her life and then dies alone with cats. Yeah that.

When I entered college not much changed, except that I had to make girl friends if I didn't want to be a stared at all the time. Then it finally began, hormones. Maybe that was the reason, maybe you need girls around for the girl hormones to kick in. I was a girl over-night. From one stupid boy to another, with my heart on a platter. It was very amusing at first. I was watching Rom-Coms without being forced to. I was reading Mills & Boons (that happened once, don't judge me) Basically I was ready for the prince in shining armor to come and sweep me off my feet, just like princess diaries. 

A friend of mine got a  puppy from her boyfriend. A puppy! A real, living, breathing, barking little thing. But the dog was diseased, and died in 3 days and she turned vegetarian for a year after that,mourning for its death *rolls eyes* and they broke up soon after. But that's not the point. Focus on the puppy part. They would all go to nice lunches and brunches and dinners and what not. I was never jealous then, it was stupid then. But I was jealous. 5 years after it happened. 

My prince was obviously going to be a crossover of Tom Cruise and Orlando Bloom with roses lilies in his hand and perfect hair. But when I fell in love it was just not so fairy tale like after all. All I wanted was lunch. But I got long really long STD call bills, several snores from the other end and just a flip calendar on our one year anniversary. Yeah it is sad. This is what happens when you are in love  with a guy who is a generation older to you(so i like to say) Things won't go your way most of the time. The time you think you've gone for the Man instead of puppy love. He shows you that he is just that a MAN, with no boyish charm and no tricks up his sleeve. He thinks he has you and he will hold and protect you till death do you'll part but all you want is lunch. To top it all it is a long distance relationship and frustration levels are so high that you want to poison every happy couple you see around. God and his evil ways didn't even want me to have a regular long distance relationship, why make it so easy. The love of my life is in the Indian Air Force and is training to be an air warrior. Phppt. Don't go all "Wow you should be so proud of him crap" cause I will take you down. Cause all you want is someone who is actually there after a long day at work. Someone who is bringing chocolate chip ice-cream to your place at 3 am and someone who is atleast present, if only on weekends.

How does this kind of set-up actually work? It works cause at the end of the day, the sound of his voice on the phone is the warmest hug, the random message from him through the day is my epic romance. The bracelet he made me out of twigs at camp is my favourite gift, and when he sleeps off because he's had a really tiring day, as much as I want to slap him awake, the sound of his breathing is my lullaby. 

 It's like a big pie chart, and the love in a relationship has to be the biggest piece. Love can make up for a lot.