Date a poet.

Date a poet.

Date a man who spends more time admiring the nook of your neck looking for inspiration than spending hours in front of his television set. Date him for his ruffled pages and crumpled clothes because even when you are tired and a complete mess, his words will find your beauty in spaces where you thought there was none.

Date a poet because he will quote to you the likes of Tennyson and Cummings with the poise of a golden deer. And when Keats won’t be enough he’ll write you his own love poems. For you to hold on to long after his remnants are gone.

Date a poet because he knows what vulnerable is, and will turn every moment worth remembering into couplets of memory. That you can relive when you miss him. Date him for his strong hands that have bled to bring to life, poems that he will never truly love. Date a poet because he will never let you sleep over a fight; instead he will write you a haiku and you will smile. Even when you are clenching your teeth with anger, and even in moments you despise him. You will blush like a girl kissed in the rain, by the boy her mother warned her about.

Date a poet because in coffee shops he will pass you love notes scribbled on tissue paper. And you will have to order one cup after another because he wouldn’t stop talking about his day, and you will smile because you are in deep trouble. In stupid love, with a poet. Date a poet because no one else can put in words the answer to the question, ‘Why do you love me?’ like he does.

Date a poet because he will read to you the genius of Frost. And in time you’ll know that if you had to perish twice, his words are enough and will suffice. Date a poet because his heart will flutter not when he sees a beautiful girl, but when he catches a glimpse of his favourite author in a bookstore. Date a poet because it is easy to buy him gifts, for his birthday get him a Neruda and a Virginia Woolf for the anniversary. And just as a surprise throw in a Manto for he loves a short story.

Show him your flaws and broken pieces because he understands that sometimes poems don’t rhyme but that they are no less melodious or beautiful. Tell him no lies because he doesn’t believe in black and white. That ‘b’ doesn’t always follow ‘a’ because rhyme schemes like people are imperfect. Date a poet because when you hurt and fail him, he will know better than to hurt you back. Instead he will soothe you with metaphors and in alliterations he will, profess how much he loves you. Date a poet because the year when you can’t take a holiday he will drown you in imagery, the kind that you won’t need eyes to see. Date a poet because he will make you his poetry and you will hate when he writes about you and you will hate when he stops.

He won’t propose at a candlelight dinner. You will not find a ring in the cake. He will ask you to marry him in bed, after you’ve cuddled with him all night. He will ask you to do it for the rest of your life. And you will smile. Because you are in stupid love, with a poet.

Poets may or may not always look like this. It is only representative in nature and mostly wishful thinking.

All for Good Karma

I've been counting the lines on the back of my hand 
Again and again and again. 
They say every seven years all the cells in our body are completely replaced 
It's my only solace 
To know that in seven years even my body will be a stranger to you.

I've been lighting candles 
That went out,  perhaps as a sign of prayers that won't be answered
and apprehensions that were yet to find peace
But I light them, hoping that someday there will be someone
Who'll see my flame go out
And rush to cup their hands around me
Patiently waiting for me to be bright again.

I've been buying books 
The kind you can touch and caress 
In bookstores around the cities that we met in 
Amidst the empty aisles I leave notes 
Of hope. 
Wishing, that you find them before it's shut down
Before it is completely replaced by 
a version of itself it doesn't fully recognize.

I've been giving in forms I only learnt now 
In between learning to breath fully
I try to find meaning 
In the stories of people I'll never truly know
And I'm dying to tell you that a girl went to school today 
Because I spent a night sending emails to friends and acquaintance alike
Asking for my trust in humanity to be restored 
But I'll tell you, I'm done with believing

I've been wishing on shooting stars
and waiting for the clock to strike 11.11
But I've been doing that for too long now
I don't think it works. 
I don't think I really know the difference 
Between what is real and superficial anymore
And superstition is better than faith.

I've been building paper birds 
Because a 1000 of them,  are more than 2 and with each I tie a wish for you 
And from afar you can't really tell if they are paper or flesh. 
If they are happy or sad. 
From this far you can't tell anything
And I'm letting them go for good karma
But this time I won't wait by the window. 
They'll just fly in whenever they please 
This time more real than before.

Love Socially

That poem you shared the other day
On your blog
Did you have me in mind when you hit *publish*?
Tell me, is it true? I’m not trying to fish.

The Tweet you RTed at 9 o’clock last night;
about your hand in mine
Entwined like two beautiful trees trying to stay apart but failing.
Should I have taken that as a sign?

On Instagram
You said, “I make you happy”
Or is just the comments that followed
Or the publicity

On Facebook you said you loved me truly.
I was feeling ‘fly’.
Until that girl from next door said,
something about my mismatched hair-tie

On Snapchat you send me selfies,
of you and everyone around.
From when you left home for work,
to until you were in your night gown

But amidst all the social networks
I really wonder why?
Love needs to find expression in words and emoticons.
When all it really takes is for you
to stand beside me and look me in the eye.

This post is a part of my attempt to blog everyday for a month on the occasion of my blog completing 4 years :D Also there is a GIVEAWAY so do participate and win awesome things!

Fears.

I fear, a life that is just about ordinary
That when I'm old and gone
The dash between the years of my life will have no stories to tell

I fear that too much ambition will eventually drown me 
Or worse, I'll fall in irrevocable love with flying like the film I can't stop talking about
And no place will feel like home again.

I fear not the darkness but the lonely nights it brings
That eventually eat you up
And slowly sleep is a secret you tell your body to keep.

I fear that I fall in love in an all consuming way
And I can't really draw the lines between what is platonic and otherwise
I love the rhythm of poetry and its concave curves
But maybe we are better off as friends.

I fear that books will one day lose their comfort
The lines I knew at the back of my hand 
Will turn into patterns and all I will be able to make of them are scribbles

I fear standing at the crossroad of nowhere, terrified if there will be a happy ending
There probably will
But I will fear still.

I fear that by the time I learn what it really is to let go
I'd have too many people and things pass by
And everything I'd ever let go would have claw marks on it.

I fear a world of complete despair 
I fear a life of counting the clock
Time.
The world's oldest trick
And probably the only one that is truly magic

But what if it's time that I don't have 
What if there are just so many days I knew I had?
Would I be brave then?

Point A

There are very few people who like poetry and are not familiar with Sarah Kay. She is a spoken word poet and her poetry is eloquent and brilliant. This is my version of her poem "Point B"

If I should have a daughter
I’ll read to her “Point B”
And tell her that’s not me

But Mama is a worrier and 

Papa may not necessarily be a warrior

So she must fight her own battles
That on a long enough timeline everyone succeeds

She will learn that terrible things happen
But those terrible things, they save you
That salt water is the answer to everything
And the waves will take in anything if you let them
She will always have the key to what her life holds
Its like the clay that she will get to mould
That “Some things are just not meant to be”
Is the biggest lie ever told.

She will know that heartbreaks are painful
And losing someone can leave a hole in your heart that won’t be filed
I’ll tell her that her Mother was in love too with a man,
Who didn’t love her enough
But I got over it and she would too
But what I won’t tell her is that even now when I think of him
I feel the air knocked out of my lungs
and for moments after that they forget the taste of air
With my hand on her head
I’ll probably say it was for the best
But I’ll skip the rest

And Baby I’ll tell her never stop asking, “Why?
That she will not hear me say “Just because I said so”
She will know to be persistent
She will know to not settle for anything
lesser than what she dreamed of
Not all dreams are still breathing once you wake up
But they must not go without a fight
That life is like moonshine and her mother
Has been holding on to some of it each night
For when it gets too dark

She will know that love makes
the world go round
And the world has been going on for too long without enough of it
That the ones holding down her cape while she tries to save them
Are the ones that need her the most

And when she can't help them

When life seems at its darkest
She can cry
Sometimes tears are what you need to see clearly And life is greatest leveler
That just like books, it all ends well

Okay, not all books end well

But that is what the moonshine is for
The stars and the sky 
Can make you believe in the things that are much
bigger than us 
That there really are somethings she can't change
And that's okay

Cause if I should have a daughter 

She will call me "Point A"

Because I'll be her constant.

You and Me.

I fall a little in love with everyone I meet
I fall in love with everything that humanity is and can be
The imperfections and rounded edges draw me in
I want to know your story
Will you tell me?
Will you tell me why you hate that Beatles song
Or why peanut butter with bread is just so wrong .
Will you tell me of your biggest dreams and all that made you.

Of the books you took to bed 

The days when too many thoughts filled your head

Of the time you held your brother’s finger and followed him around
The times the bully put you down

I fall a little in love with everyone I meet
Someone that hands me a piece of their soul 

Trusting me to keep it

I'm mind blown

You trust me? To keep it.

So safely tucked away

All the things you say

Of the times you had a broken bone
The pages of your diary that you think are just a drone

Of the love you thought was yours 

Are just a few
Of the stories I want to hear

From you

I fall in love a little with everyone I meet 

When you tell me 

Of the day you cried yourself to sleep

When you realized that there is only so much you can do

That the burden of privilege is not yours alone

That we are all just turning into each other's clones

When the truth was too much to take
When choices took the name of mistakes

And then when you say, but I moved passed it

I fall in love with you a little. 

It overwhelms me how easy it is to love

To trust and be trusted too

That we are not alone

believe me, you

That all we are looking for is 

a connection

Some common ground to anchor on

To build a bridge

To catch a train

To something, to someone
Who is never too far away

All we need is to not feel so alone

So I look,

I look for stories. I look for people with their hearts on their sleeve.
Because I fall in love a little with everyone I meet.

I want to know your story.

Will you tell me?

Cause I have them too.

Not so different me and you.

This Time

This time I grew up.

Didn't delete a single picture or message,

Didn't burn down memories, Didn't cloud my mind.

This time I didn't cry.
But next time around, I'll be ruthless.
I'll judge you for your queer smile.
I'll mock your accent and stare at your scars
I'll stop to breathe before I let your scent into my lungs
This time I'll not make you my comfort. 

I won't let you become the essence of my being 

I won't let you touch my soul

No, not this time

Because this time I won't love you.

As is amply clear, I'm trying to write more and more poetry. I have been a regular at The Poetry Club, Mumbai for the past year and its unbelievable. So if you are in Mumbai and would like to read out your poems in the midst of fellow poets write to them at thepoetryclubmumbai@gmail.com

Forty Two

So, what is the point of it all anyway?

Life, universe and everything?

Why do I wake up each day and go to work

Tired even before I'm started.

Fixated on goals I don't remember setting

Working for people I don't like

Why? Such an earthling question to ask.

Why?

When all I want to do is write.

I want to write about honey filled buttercups     

And sun kissed peaches   

Of curly hair that just won’t be tamed 

About kindled spirits and broken dreams

I want to write about values and cultural extremes

I want to write about frail eyes but strong hopes

And about sunlight that creeps in from between thin leaves

About raindrops that tap on my window, hoping to be let in

About myths and prophecies 

And about rivers that always meet the vast seas

But all I do is shake my pillow violently each morning.

Hoping that the dreams I lost that night would tumble out

So I read, about others that let go.

In between scandals and violence

Are dreams coming true, silently breeding hope

Like the wind knocking on your heart for a chance to blow away misery.

Like living each day with the wonderment of the child 
that saw his first magic trick

And there are those many pages later

In between real estate and oddly shaped classifieds

A lost soul, a mourning, a life

With incomplete dreams? Perhaps

Or maybe a lifelong of happiness and contentment

And here I am at an age of misconstrued ideas and confused ambitions

At crossroads that lead nowhere or everywhere.

And I hear myself whisper "It's always a choice."

(For those who didn't get the reference in the title. Douglas Adams in his book the Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy, writes about a computer called Deep Thought that takes 7 million years to find the answer to Life, Universe and Everything and the answer is 42. So yeah, this is my Life Universe and Everything poem or something like that.)

Startling Clarity

Because when you stumbled into my life

My heart sighed so deeply and said "What took you so long?"

In a moment of startling clarity I knew. 

I live for these moments. 

I wait for them. 

Almost grabbing in the darkness of a deliciously ambiguous life. 

I search for an absolute in the otherwise blurry lines.

In a time when I thought love was something I didn't want anymore. 

Love I didn't deserve. Love I didn't receive. Love that didn't make it. 

You gave it a new meaning. 

And suddenly all those love songs,

The heart breaking movies and everything I've ever written 

Were all about you. 

I fell in love. Again. And again. 

Everyday like it was new. 

Like everyday was a fresh start. 

Everyday the Sun would come back brighter and tell me that Love was on its way.

Love told me that the distance was all in my head.

That you lay beside me, every time I turned in my sleep

And you held me tight each morning,

Not wanting me to leave

That we were out on the street all night, 

Your hand in mine.

We were like clockwork

Like a sky burst into light 

From a million shooting stars all at once

Like the inside of my stomach that flipped

Every time I heard your voice

Like the rush of a waterslide

You made me want to come up and breathe. Everyday.

We were like two parts of the same soul

Like a dancer's feet, in sync and graceful

It all still comes back to me in flashes

So vivid and real, I almost touch you

in my dreams only to be hit so hard with reality.

But repetition manifests reality.
I remember repeating your name again and again till it became my truth.
Smiling each time I said it like the counts of prayer beads
This whole beautiful person was mine with his rough edges, sharp bends.
And tiny scars that lined his soul like little thorns on desert trees.
For protection more often than attack.
This whole person was mine to hold and comfort with the palms of my hands and my heart to wrap around him during the passing storm.
I've kissed you too many times to imagine your lips on mine even when we are miles away
Felt your warmth reach my heart enough times to know how cold it can get in there
Seen you become me and me become you so many times that I can no longer tell the difference between us

We were fighting the world and we had no honour as armour or pride as knives

Just love.
Just love? They laughed so loud that I couldn't hear you say 'whatever it takes'
I couldn't hear behind the screams of hate, the love you kept so well hidden

We prayed to the same Gods
Breathed the same air,
Laughed at the same jokes,
Spoke the same words and yet, 
Yet, we couldn't be together

Because in the fight with the world

The world always wins.

Untitled.

It's important for me at this point in my life, to get back to writing. It gave meaning to my life before, a whole new meaning a whole new world. And I want that back. I want this space of my own, to dissolve into. So I am unearthing the million drafts I didn't complete. The stories I wanted to write that I didn't put down and each little thought I ever wanted to see in writing.

For the longest time 

You were the only woman in his life

For the longest time he's observed you 

Take care of the nest so meticulously each day

You do it so effortlessly

I want you to know that each time 

He says "You're just like my mother'

I feel a sense of pride

I wasn't raised in a mansion

Or fed with a silver spoon
I wasn't brought up to think money is everything
Because only fools believe that’s true
I wasn't raised to live out my parents dream
But to proudly dream my own
I wasn't raised to walk the popular path
But to strongly pave my own
I wasn't raised with material things
But something great indeed
I was raised with love
And love is all I need

He's taught me that each day is a new beginning

And mistakes are only pebbles in the way of life

He's taught me that love is everlasting

He's taught me that anything was possible

If I only believed 

He shows me that I could have everything

If I only dreamed

He's watched me grow up and stay young all at once

He tells me of you 

All the little things

What makes you happy and what

drives you mad

but most importantly he tells me its you whose made him a man

And I want to say thank you for bringing him to the world

Mother, thank you for giving me what is mine.

Home.

What is home to you?

Or you?

Is it the four walls you return to each night?

Or the edge of that cliff where you sit for hours 

watching the sky change its color
Or is it your dreams?
where you get away from the truth of reality
Is it your school?
where you return to every now and then if only to watch
the kids and the commotion
or perhaps the familiarity of the peeling paint of the classroom walls
Is it that old house where you once lived?
The one with teak wood doors, and French windows that went all the way down
or is it the park where you fell and fell again 

only to break into peals of laughter in the next second

Home? 

Is it the movies you spend hours watching?

The happy or the sappy, the teenage romance and the political drama
Is it the book you picked up from the second hand bookstore?
The one you have read around 18 and a half times since
Is it the song of your favourite band? 

The one which talks of love and hate
Or is the wine you kiss with your lips before you crash into your pillow.

Must be the characters of your favourite tv shows.

The ones who are just like you or ones you want to be like.

Home? Is it your pet, the bundle of joy that leaps at you 

each time you walk through the door  

Or is it your best friend who hugs you tight every time your heart aches

Must be your mother, she listens so intently to everything you share

Or the lover in whose arms time just passes you by

Must be the neighbor next door who lends you his books

and sometimes hears you read them on his perch

Home is squishy happiness, home is the melancholic pain

Home is the outcome of years of comfort 

Or the stranger's pat in the time of need

Home is being immersed in the sea of the world 

and yet staying afloat to find yourself

For me Home, is the sound of your voice,

the husk at the end of the line. 

It is the poetry I begin to write but becomes a letter to you

Home is the warmth of your arms 

that reaches me from miles away

Its the sound of your laughter

Its the smell of your shirt that I sleep in

Its the gasp of air I fight for 

Each time you say "I love you"

Because home is you.

Believe you.

You say you love me, but wait

I'm quite the pessimist at times

Jumping to the worst possible conclusions with assumptions on my mind

You say you love me but wait

Till you see that I don't always wear makeup and my eyes don't always shine

That I'm clumsy and messy,

I drop things a lot 

You say you love me but wait 

I'm too much of a drama queen, and that arguments will usually lead to tears 

That I get hurt too soon and frown

And I always don an invisible crown

You say you love me but wait 

Till you know that lizards creep me out

And I expect you save me from them like your life depends on it

Because in that moment I almost think mine does.

 

You say you love me but wait 

I don't share my food 

But I'm going to reach out for yours

You say you love me but wait

I think from my heart more often than my mind

And I'm usually mistaken but I do it wrong each time

You say you love me but wait

I'm the girl that follows an idealistic cause

My friends are books and I still believe in Santa Claus

You say you love me but just wait

I play for keeps and love without restrain

And I'll follow you whenever you need me to

But I'll get back on the last train.

You say you love me but wait

I have a fake tooth and real scars

from the times I used to go in search of the stars 

You say you love me but wait 

I love words and the light that enters through the leaves

And the sound of whistling trees 

You say you love me but wait

I hug with warmth unmatched

I must say I'm quite a catch

When you learn to love every bit of me

The heartbreaks. The let downs. The cracks in the wall.

All creating a little space that you can enter from

You say you love me but wait

I smile at sunshine while others complain

And sometimes I even chase butterflies.

You say you love me but wait

There is a part of me that I hide at all times

But I'll give that to you too if you just try

You say you love me but wait 

I'm barely done

But you say you love me and I want to believe you.

Spoken Word

Sidenote: Obsession with Poetry is far from over. I am going to be a poet. Period. All of you who have not heard of Sarah Kay must die or just google her. She is brilliant and poetry is going to keep coming up in this space. Deal with it.

Her clothes are weary, 
Just like her eyes.
Hair messed and her weak smile only a disguise. 
She was lovely & then he left her

Is what they mouth every time she passes by

Only a shadow of what she used to be

So sad but she tries 

They don't know what happened

Maybe they were always fighting,

or maybe they never did

Maybe love left them

Or maybe they left love

Maybe her heart 

Now has a hole cut out in a shape 

That resembles him 

Maybe the words hurt, or just the quiet that kills

Maybe they didn't have what it took to love

Or maybe love took all they had

Her hair is messed up and her smile is weak

And each time she passes by

She was lovely and then he left her is what they speak

She is seen sitting on that park bench

Almost tracing where he would normally be

And as the sun kisses her arms

She feel his embrace

Wondering  if her unwavering belief would set things right

That maybe if she still believed his love is around her

She'll survive.

A mark sits on her finger

Where a ring used to be

They see her trying to hide it

But pryingly they see

Her is messed up and her smile is weak

And each time she passes by

She was lovely and he left her is what they speak

My favorite Sarah Kay video. Watch it!!!

Serendipity

She is holding her drink 

He thinks she's had enough

But she thinks otherwise

She puts his arms around him to say

That love is a butterfly

He smiles and whispers

Let's hold out our hand and let it settle then

And as those words leave his mouth

She feels a familiar twinge

An emotion she hadn't felt for a while

A memory, a night, a someone

Someone she knew so well but not quite

In a another part of the world

He is working hard

Addressing a crowd of peers

Who think he's out of his mind

And as he makes his parting speech

His eyes reach the lady who just opened the door

Something so familiar about her

That he can't ignore

She excuses her self for getting the wrong room

He just caught a glimpse but wasn't quite sure

He follows her out

Looking around he wonders if he'll see that familiar face

and when he turns he sees her

This time more closely

A little disappointment and an out of place smile

He gets back to work 

With her on his mind

Each day a small reminder

Made its way from unexpected places

A scent, a movie, a place, a thing

Little by little creeping in

The questions that usually linger

Now made a resounding sound

Why did it not work out?

How it all went down.

In a momentary moment of weakness

He picks up the phone

She too the dials the numbers

That she thought were long forgotten

And as they listen for the click

To feel the return of a familiarity

To listen to that voice

All they hear is a busy tone

Almost there, but not quite 

And reality draws them in

With a nonchalant smile 

They go back to being what they are

So close yet just as far.

Awesome April - Day 17 *updated*

Today's Inspiration.

To know about Awesome April click here , here and here

Whoever wants to join can use this as a stimulus and write a post . By the end of the day I'll update this with my response along with links to those who joined today. Email me your links on blublubling@gmail.com. 

Waiting to read all you wonderful people's posts =)

Don't worry about the whole month , you'll can join today and choose not to tomorrow , its awesome that way. :D 

Ps : This inspiration was given by Aakriti from Yarn of Words =D

Remember the lights you light up with your smile 

Remember the time you didn't let me go for even a while 

Remember how we talked for hours 

And traced the passing cars.

Remember when time just flew.

Remember when I thought I knew the real you.

Remember the walks on the crowded street.

Remember when we just had to meet. 

Remember the I love yous , you said them too 

It does seem old 

No more fresh or new.

Remember the nights , the coffee spills

Too much sugar and the same old drill

Remember when you didn't lie 

Remember when I didn't cry

Remember the promises and 

The "I'm always there"

Remember when you had time to spare.

Remember when we never fought 

And so many moments in our minds we caught

But there is something I need to share

I met someone 

Not like you might care.

But he's everything you could never be.

He shines like a diamond

As calm as the sea

He thinks with his heart and loves with his mind.

He loves me for everything you thought I was not

Only smiles and laughter is what he brought

His voice is my lullaby and his eyes are my mirror

With him I feel like there is nothing to fear.

He took the hurt, the pain you gave

He took the troubles and worries away

I have you to thank and so I will 

Thank you for making the space he could fill

So as I sit at our favourite place to eat

Remember where we used to meet 

I think of the wish I made for us.

Well its gone forever 

& I wish you luck .