EPIC FAIL :|

You know we all have our theories. Okay I have theories ALOT of them .But they all are so not true and not universally accepted it angers me :P.
I'm awesome that way i stick by my theories and think they work just fine but they dont . :|

Theory # 1 - Cold kills Cold
Just for the record no it doesn't it just makes you more sick and leaves you with a sore throat the next day. So eating ice cream when you have a running nose BAD IDEA ..eating ice cubes ..well you asked for it *cough*

Theory # 2 - When you love someone let them go  let them know.
Another Bad idea ..when you tell someone you love them it only makes you so vulnerable to everything they do , they say and they have this crazy power over you. So if you love someone maybe you could tell your diary about it ..but don't tell that person ..cause one day you'll cry and they'll leave you helpless knowing you'd die for them.

Theory # 3 - Sometimes it doesn't matter who makes the effort .
It does ..it matters who makes the effort ..if you are the one clinging to something over and over and only you are making every effort to make things right ..STOP and think will i respect myself 10 years from now. Is that person worth your self respect ..the answer probably is NO :)

Theory # 4 - Sweet talk gets you nowhere being genuine does .
* Nods head* Not at all ..sweet talk and some white lies gets you everywhere ..from cutting the line in the supermarket to making your way out of office before its time to leave, a fake smile and some flattery takes you miles :)

Theory # 5 - Don't chase them replace them .
Biggest fail so far :| I always find myself chasing rather than replacing because firstly its not easy and secondly i just don't want to . I always believe in making something I already have better than starting something new . Bad idea ? Yes , VERY bad idea . One day you'll be tired of chasing , it will be too late to replace and you'll hate yourself. So don't use this theory either :S

I'm actually bored of this post and its taxing my brain but i have made some random promise to myself to stop writing to many drafts so I'm sorry but you just read some real crap :P

Praying to a God I just don't believe in.

I've never been an atheist but i just don't get the concept of idol worship. Basically its just us humans giving something we believe in form ..physical existence of some sort right? You go there stand in the long queues , push people around , smell their sweat and stand in front of the idol for about 4 seconds before the security starts yelling "PUDHE CHALA". What's the point ? How does anyone get to decide how much time i spend with my God. For me all Gods were the same ..I would love going to a church or to a mosque sometimes more than a normal hindu temple . I loved something and some tradition of every religion and made my own unique belief system when i was a child .
  Since I was a kid I've been brought up to believe that praying is important ..when you pray God helps you ..I pray everyday but i still have bad days I still have my tears rolling down my face is what i always thought .Why would God punish me even after I prayed .? Children are naive that way and then one day i realized what the reason for this was ( I'm going to use this explaination for my kids :P ) We remember God only when we have problems and only then do we go to HIM ( It just is a him for me , sorry feminists ) so when we have problems we should just think that God is missing us and wants us to remember him :)
   My grandparents were always religious people but after their only son's death it has somewhat become a way of living ..life had lost meaning probably . Now they take vacations to religious places and religious places only ..or they just manage to find a temple even in the most happening cities  ( eg Singapore , Malaysia like who  goes there to visit a temple ) . Once again beyond me why people travel miles to visit temples . You could visit the smallest temple at the end of the road or even sit at home and pray why make it into a big deal..what's the difference anyway . I know someone who believes in this amazing theory that says God resides in your loved ones :) Its such a beautiful thought ..God is being loved by you when you appreciate and love the people around you . He's within everybody :D
  But today for some reason I felt the need to ask questions not just to something within me or within anybody ..ask questions to God , the one I can see , the one people believe in . I just had to ..I cried all the way there and when i was there it was all gone just some kind of wierd peace. No didn't get any answers ..didn't feel any sort of enlightenment just inner peace :) I could sit there all day and cry and just vent but i didn't want to look like a freak and i also don't cry in public places ..this rule got broken too many times today but what the hell . Its Faith ...people come to these places with faith that everything will be okay ...faith that their prayers will be answered ...Faith that someone out there is looking out for them ...the power of the human mind is beyond our understanding and i keep saying that's why all these Babas are so successful ..They give you some powder and suddenly your cured ..no its not magic and no that rich bugger doesn't have healing powers and that powder is just ash but the faith that applying that , drinking that ( yuck ) will cure you is what gets you through .
   So does this make me an atheist if I think everything is in our control and their is some divine power up there that created us but beyond that there is nothing anyone else can do except you. But today i still felt that peace, I still asked for better days ..I still thanked for a good life, Faith ?
PS :  My FB religious views say : "Spiritual but not religious" 

I bought this from there and intend to keep it with me from now on at all times :) For all those who are superly curious i went to Siddhivinayak :D

Me - Version 2.0

Remember the transition i was talking about here well it has been made :D
Is it soon ? Or too late i don't know ..i'm a new person now and i did this all by myself because I wanted to .
From now on I live to please no one. I already feel like a better person. I feel like I just got out of some trap. I have a good job , amazing parents and a fabulous life waiting just around the corner i just can't see it yet :)

• Music is not noise anymore 
• I don't want to be surrounded by quite anymore I want noise - the noise of good people 
• I have successfully removed trash / drama out of my life and I'm not going to feel bad about it 
• My blog is going to reek of postivity even if it annoys my readers beyond a point ( Ok THIS is not a promise :P I will rant SOMETIMES :P )
• I'm going to be a open minded person - meet new people and trust again 
• And all those who didn't treat me right well YOUR LOSS :D
• All the advice i give to people - it's time to start applying it for myself now 
• I'm going to be happy now :)

So here's presenting ME - VERSION 2.0 *drumroll*

So i want to call this day my new HAPPY BIRTHDAY :D YAY !!!! Sept 4th is officially my second happy birthday :P ( the transition happened yesterday so technically ) 

Since its Monday i was planning to do a music monday post but the whole universe knows my PLANS don't exactly workout but here is a song which is just stuck in my head for no good reason but the good thing is its not that bad :D

And oh also one of my favorite bloggers recently published this post that explained what i feel so well that it was almost like i wrote it :D So i'm going to copy paste it here and consider it a guest post and link you'll to her amazing blog :D

i quote :

"When I look back, I see this girl trying so hard to fit in. I see her glasses and her frizzy hair and the pinafore of her school uniform always slipping off one shoulder. I remember her frowning all the time. I want to tell her to get rid of her glasses and not try so hard. I want to tell her to smile a little.
When I look back, I see her cursing the Man Upstairs for her dimples on her chin instead of the conventional ones. I want to tell her that everyone else simply has them in the wrong place. Even the nursery rhyme says 'Rosy lips, dimpled CHIN'. Not cheeks, chin.
When I look back, I see her trying so hard to be good in the kitchen. I want to tell her that all she'll ever be able to successfully produce in that room is burnt Maggi and that it doesn't matter.
When I look back, I want to tell her to not depend on people too much. I want to tell her that it's okay to die for them, if the need arises; however, it's not okay to live for them.
And I want to tell her to never give up on love and ice cream, not necessarily in the same order.
When I look back, I see her talking too much too soon. I want to tell her not to be emotionally slutty.
I see her wanting to be friends with an ex. I want to tell her that Samantha Jones from The Sex And The City was absolutely right when she said, 'Of course there's always a contest with an ex. It's called who will die miserable'.
When I look back and see her worrying herself silly because she's not as pretty as that girl with the caramel skin or maybe not as witty as that girl who tells the best stories, I want to tell her that there are some women who exist just to make the rest of us feel bad about ourselves.

I want to tell her that a lot of things are going to be like the blue walls in her room. They'll sound better than they look."

This is written by Isha at Chaai , Paani , Etc. Isha you're awesome :D

The type of days :|

The type of days i'm having :

• I want to break my phone so that nobody can contact me and just leave me alone and i don't succumb to the urges of talking to anyone 
• I want to forget everyone who exists in my life and start new with new people ( yeah i'm sure people do that all the time ..right ? it's normal :S )
• I want to smoke up my worries and issues 
• I want just be quite and not have to speak to anyone or go to work or not want to keep trying for useless things ( read people )
• When i listen to music it seems like noise and i just end up putting it off.
• I want to just not hurt anymore and embrace the changes taking place for me but i can't.
• I don't want to wake with the realisation  that most of the happy things in my mind were only dreams.
• When I don't like being left alone with someone i make sure there is a third person around so that i don't have to make conversation.

The type of days i want to have :

• Days when i'm so happy i'm goofily smiling all the time
• Days when my music shuffle plays happy songs on its own accord 
• Days when I feel like I'm important in someone's life and i feel like having a good time
• Day's when i work alot and then have a peaceful sleep in the night 
• Days when i'm smiling without having to try
• Days when i meet new people and feel warmed by it
• Days when i start liking rain again
• Days when i see the happy things in the worst circumstances 
• Days when  i'm in a good mood :D
• Days when meeting people makes me smile and not irritates me
• Days when i can relax and not think.

Ps : I wanted to make this pic ^ the header for my blog but its too small :( but its still cute :D

Note to self : Its not that bad it never is ..now i only have to get from what i have to what i want - its never too difficult for me anyway cause i'm awesome :P *self hug* ( if thats possible )

No clue why i'm posting this ..but a little birdie told me humans dwell on  miseries ..they want to know things are wrong in other people's lives to feel good about theirs so here it is for someone else to feel better ..love u dear sadist !

The First Times - Part 1

Anything that one does for the first time , or the first of every experience is so vivid and clear in our memory , special in so many ways ..it could be anything your first love , first job , first day at school / college ? Anything. The novelty of the first time is unbeatable. So why this post ?

  Well every girl has this one blue eyed boy she fell in love with , her first love , the first man who broke her heart ..the first :) This is the story of mine.

    There he was with his ruffled hair and soccer player looks ..people looked at him wherever he went ..Mr popular at school with an accent that made all the girls blush. How did i fall for the stereotype ? No clue . No it wasn't like the movies , which movie ? Well there are only who types of movies 

• Type 1 - Girl loves boy but boy is blissfully unaware of the girl's existence in the world and suddenly massive makeover and a kiss below the mistletoe
• Type 2 - Girl and boy are bestfriends ..boy looks for his perfect girl everywhere except right next to him eventually fall in love - kiss under the mistletoe

( Remember to throw in other slutty sidekicks who are also behind the boy in each type :P )

My story was neither ..no we were not best friends ..and yes he did know i existed ..we were friends, good one's at that ..he sat beside me in class all throughout 8th grade ..i don't remember breathing at all that year ..he would just take my breath away ( Hey bhagooo so cheesy :P but its true )..the friendship continued i secretly checked our zodiac compatibility and Flames :P We were perfect :P I would feel him enter the class because of the strong smell of his awesome perfume :D *heart melt* We could chit chat for hours about anything under the sun . We shared stories. He made me laugh and we also fought alot and drove each other crazy.

 So yeah life was beautiful , birds were chirping and you know happiness and all that ...but then he went ahead and asked his long time high school love out  ..and i came to know only after he had done so  ..was a surprise for me  apparently ..and a surprise it was. Our zodiacs matched :O :( ..And that was my first heartbreak .

   I cried the whole night that day..and missed school for the next two days ...didn't speak to him for a week and then when he started asking questions *heart melt* i pretended like it wasn't bothering me . I loved him all throughout school and when i went to college he was there too O:) i was sooo happy about it ..but we lost touch even after so many years of friendship we kinda drifted apart ! From sitting next to each other for 3 years in school we went to a mere greeting in the college canteen . Am i over him ? Ofcourse . But when i see him in the college corridors and meet him outside somewhere by accident my heart still skips a beat ..i still remember the smell of his perfume and it still brings a smile to my face ...When he waves at me from across the street i want to dance and when he's gone after speaking to me briefly i hope i was looking my best and didn't say something stupid :P And that my friends is  the magic of Firsts ...and the  first love is always special.

  

Ps : The high school love and him have broken up and he's hot and available but i don't want to ruin the memory by falling for him again ! My first love ! Someday I'll marry him - a girl is allowed to dream ok :P

Note to self : Next time I'll tell you'll how the first job is going so lets call this " The First Times - Part 1 " :D

Adios