Thursday, 20 September 2012


Mainly because I am having a sort of writer's block and also because I'm more or less a twitter addict for the past few months , I thought I'll just share what I find oh so cool about twitter , just one word the TWEEPS.

Seriously twitter has the most hilarious people. If you are following the right people it is bound to make your day because :
a) You realize that everyone is going through the same shit hole that you are and yes everyone rants.
b) Because some of the tweets are funny and I personally favorite them and then when I have nothing to do , I go through them and smile.
c) The follower count increasing by the day gives you a ego boost . You get to rant too and 200 odd people read it .

So here is a collection of 140 characters that will make you tickle, smile and ponder.

@amysteryunfolds - Never Explain love.

@thisthat_etc - I think married people feel and look like Mondays

@AbhiAndNow - If you know where to look, the object will itself get up , start walking , and settle down at the place where you can find it . True Story

@Coffeegrams - I have spent a lot of time in January charging my smartphone I shall do the same in February.

@DesireMaze - Never drink and derive

@DeeSeelicious - If you are the guy who designed the @VodafoneIn website , you should just hang yourself . Retiring from web designing might not please me.

@Coffeegrams - Twitter is the noise that you can't see.

@tyrantasorus - We fell in love the way you people fall asleep . Slowly ...and then all at once.

@Coffeegrams - People who change their handle and DP regularly are the same people who change their numbers regularly and ask other to guess who they are.

@_shezz - The worst is when you judge yourself . Nah. Don't do it.

@NanguPanguu - I swear if Twitter changes their layout one more time , I'm going to post a rant-tweet about it and then use their site as much as always.

@NanguPanguu - If a bra is called an 'over the shoulder boulder holder' , then what would you call men underwear ? Under the butt nut hut.?

@Cachekeys - I don't click links. I don't believe in detail therapy.

@thedessertwhore - Never lose out on something in life because you didn't  "Ask" . Food definitely comes first on this list.

@PWNeha - If it weren't for twitter , I wouldn't be able to tell 7705 people what I'm having for lunch.   *wipes a tear*

@LoKarlofollow - A day in your life is a waste if you did not learn how to hate someone you should not love and how to love someone whom you should not hate.

@Mojojojo - Coke Studio. Also what Fardeen Khan calls his house.

@UlostMeat_ - My life is utter waste. Haven't even auditioned for Roadies yet.

@NanguPanguu - Hi I am Mala . Mere papa ke pass bohot maal hai aur main khud ek maal hoon. Mally me 'eh ? Marry me ?

@NanguPanguu- "Maa Ki Dua" written only on trucks, buses and auto-rickshaws, because BMWs, Audis and Mercs are usually of "Baap Ka Paisa!"

@zenmaster - The answer to eternal Qs like 'Do I look fat?' 'Am I boring?' is a resounding 'YES!' pronounced in a very un-orgasmic way.
@Paanipuri_Lover - Malinga , what did I say about Hair Spa?

@_shezzz - You get the chicken by hatching the egg, not smashing it.

@tjinscot - One day you'll ask me what I love more you or sarcasm. And I'll say "You, of course", and you'll stay, because you don't understand sarcasm.

@LokarloFollow - Considering the number of fucks I have given in my life. I am a hooker who never got paid.

@raggedtag - Are you home ? Not the building . The state of mind.

@paulocoelho - Make happy those who are near, and those who are far will come.

@taklooman - If your nationality is not listed on youporn as a category then your existence, revolution etc have no importance. No one cares about you.

@Rene - Place your hand over your heart. Feel that? That is called purpose... You're alive for a reason. Don't forget that. ;)

@BedardiRaja - Kripaya So Jayiye... aap So Jayiye... So Jayiye please....

@SatanicPope - Who told you to work , earn money , have kids and all? It's a trap. It's the reason why most humans live in cages and animals freely.

@Scbchbum - If you want something done, ask a lazy person so you'll end up doing it yourself like you planned all along. Control freak.

@Tyrantasorus - I laugh. I cry. I hope. I try. I fear. I love. And I know you do the same things too. So we're really not that different,me and you.

@WordAddict_ - What you fight with maximum vigour, consumes you with the slightest trigger.

@Scotchaholic - She has gone to her parents' home. He's drinking, all alone. Not feeling drunk, he smiles. Now he knows where the intoxication lies.

@Dumbinator - Jesus turned water into wine. Huh? I turned my whole month's salary into wine.

@AbhiandNow - 
Hey, I just followed you, and this is crazy, but here's a thanks in advance, so  me, maybe? 

@Kyle_lippert - All you need is love. And money. And compatibility. And attraction. And excitement. And patience. And loyalty. But, yeah, love.

@TheMantallBwoy - Love is when you are sleepy and you don't tell her that you are sleepy just to talk to her AND she says that she is sleepy and sleeps.

@AnOddYellow - I shall not expect any promises, please tell me no lies. Stay with me as long as you can and that will be our forever.

@KronoVB - Whenever KRK tweets somewhere a Grammar Nazi dies.

@LiteraryLapses - Longed for him. Got him. The love died and so did its longing.

@Scotchaholic - When everything becomes a joke, that day, we cease to laugh.

@havahawai - Its time I think we should let another country elect our PM.

@tyrantasorus - We're never too young nor too old to love. Most of the time , we're just too afraid.

@AndRyanTF - If I was dating Eva Mendes, anytime she acted bitchy I'd say "What-Eva!" it would be hilarious. Almost as funny as me dating Eva Mendes...

@vivekisms - I lent books to a friend today. Guess I am growing up.

@MohsinSayeed - A black cat crossed my path. Worried. The last black cat got run over, the one before went blind.Black cats don't know I'm manglik for them.

@SupraMario - My mother chose today, of all days, to tell me: "When you were born, I was hoping you'd be a girl. But then, even boy was okay."

@meetasengupta - 
P&G has the cheek to put out a Mary Kom ad with the tagline: sponsoring Moms. Sorry dear, moms sponsor the firm by buying stuff!

@NanguPanguu - In ancient times,Kings use to say "Taqhlia", to keep the tradition alive,I call my colleague "Taklia".

@vivekisms - Independent bodies. Independent country even. Caged minds.

@Morganfreeman - I hate the word homophobia. It's not a phobia. You are not scared. You are an asshole.

@thetanmay - Dhoni is launching his own perfume ? Lovely. I've always wanted to spend 2K to smell like Jharkhand.

@scissortongue - There’s some song with prabhu deva and sonakshi sinha in it. My tv just exploded due to the collective ugliness.

@WordAddict_ - If you thought I'll tweet 'hungry and still at work', you're wrong. Here you go- sick, hungry and still at work. See, how I surprise. B-)

@Mojorojo - Constipated. Feel like the government may be involved.

@Fashionopolis - The Bald and the Botoxed : A south Bombay love story.

@TheBigDowg - Some of you need a lesson on how to use  and effectively. Also, most of you need a year long session on sarcasm.

@Hardism - Dogs dig with such enthusiasm like there's guaranteed sex beneath the sand.

@WaterBaker - I have a tendency to feel left out of groups that I don't want to be a part of anyway. 

@TheBigDowg - If you love someone, never set them free. Tie them up if the need be . Ignore the age old philosophy. This is 2012, Steal your love.

Happy Thursday :D


  1. ALL I CAN SAY IS.............AMA-ZING!!!!!

  2. Brilliant!Each one of them!A twitter timeline filled with gems and geniuses like these, can make anyone smile! :-)

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