Ode to Happiness (:

Yesterday my college had this big board which they set up and everyone was asked to write something that makes them happy and stick it there :D Just the concept made me smile so much . We are all chasing happiness aren't we . Everyone wants to be happy . The minute you start questioning your happiness you cease to be so.

     Happiness is the little things =) I made a list of the little things that make me happy here once. The most amazing part was that most people wrote the names of people on their chits. Like these people make me happy. Whatever happened to happiness is internally driven. Why should someone else be a reason for your happiness. People make me happy too , sure but if i had to put down one small thing I wouldn't name a person.

See it looks sooo nice :D >_< 

I love you ,  but I love myself more <3

This line by Samantha ( Sex and the city - google it man , which planet do you live on :P ) always made me smile and think , hell yeah why not . Why should anyone be more important than me in my life ? A funda we ignore most times in our lives. The minute you start putting yourself and your needs over someone else's you are termed selfish . Why? 
       Why should i not be selfish? Its my life and unfortunately or fortunately I have just one . But right in the middle of an ordinary life a love story takes you by storm , bringing with it that one person for whom you want to be selfless ..that one person who will come to mean more to you than yourself. Then you are taken over by the feeling of love , of joy , of just eternal happiness that you feel around this person . Love is one special feeling yes, but watch out who it is you're giving this position in your life to. Is this person a keeper or is it just a mask, waiting to fall apart . Don't assume that what happens to other people won't happen to you. Don't be in the illusion and say " Its US " cause when its over " We" becomes "I" and "Us" becomes " You and me " .
    On a personal note I'm exhausted of being a giver in every relationship I encounter..even a purely platonic friendship I'm just the eternal giver..and then I have to hear don't expect..I don't ..I try not to . I'm a giving person by choice and I like to put a smile on your face so I take the effort. But now i'm sick of it and no its nobody's fault. And as selfish as this is going to sound i'm done being the giver ..I want to be the taker now . I want someone to be on their toes for me . I want someone to take the effort of making me happy for once. I want to put my feet up and say this is what I want and have it produced in front of me just because someone wants to make me smile.
  Selfish ? Screaming for attention ? Yes. Guilty ? Not one bit . I'm living my life my way now . I'm living it a little more now ..each day ..everyday. I'm not even close to perfect and this whole note seems totally condescending but this is what i feel. So to the new me whose a little self centred and selfish than before . To the grey tones . Cheers =) 

This is mine :D Watching the sun set and sitting on the beach lazily makes me happy :D This is the first thing that came to my mind so there :D

Wasn't this an ode to happiness how did the conversation turn around to THAT ^ :P Some mind chow that was :P

Ps : Anyone who was expecting a real poem "ode" :P I can rhyme cat with mat and thats about it . Its a paragraphical ode O_o if there is such a thing :\ bye now :|

Some Story - Part 2

For those who dont know this is a continuation of something i wrote earlier here

Baby i'd love you to want me 

The way that i want you , the way that it should be

Baby , you'd love me to want you

The way that i want to if you'd only let it be  ♫ ♫

 " Arush beta this is the 100th time your playing this song can you put it off now ? " Should i make you pakodas? " rambled his mom. 

" No thanks maa . "

" You haven't eaten well since days what's wrong with you ? " 

" Nothing maaaa . Stop asking the answer won't change everytime you ask . "

"Fine." . His mom had now stormed out of the room and the song filled the room again , their song.

Now it took time for me to know 

What you tried so not to show 

Something in my soul just cried 

       I see the warmth in your blue eyes ♫ ♫

Arush had been avoiding his friends for days now . Since the night on the terrace he drank alone every night in his building . His parents had started to worry. They had started asking questions like what now? College was over it was time for him to look for a job or decide about further studies and whatever he wanted to do with life and they wanted the answers NOW. 

   

He didn't know what he wanted . He wanted her. He tried hard each day to forget her ,  he told himself everyday  " She's getting married now , she broke up with you over TEXT , she didn't love you enough , she called you just to make you feel miserable , she hates you .. I LOVE HER " and that's how each drinking session began. 

Sometime last year 

Arush and Poo were trying to study. Poo was resting her head on his knee and reading Guide to Licensing and Agreements like it was a fashion magazine. She had always enjoyed studying law . It was her thing she said , she was a star at arguing and making a point . Poo suddenly turned to Arush and said " Arush what if we break up what will you do then ? " " Find another girlfriend i guess " he teased . Poo punched him with mock anger. 

" No seriously tell me , no ? What will you do ?"

" I'll stand outside your window everyday till you come back to me. "

" Well that would just be stalkish " she said and smiled her beautiful smile. Arush knew she was pleased. Girls ! He thought to himself , they always need some kind of assurance all the time that they are loved. A constant need to ask questions and mind you the answers have to be what they want to hear or else it will lead to a " So you mean if ... " hypothetically stupid argument. 

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He missed her even more so now that she was going to be someone else's forever. He wanted to meet her one last time and tell her he loved her even if rejection would be all he would get. He had heard all about selfless love and all that maybe now it was time to feel it himself.


Arush picked up the phone and dialed her number with a teenager like enthusiasm . Just the thought that he would get to see her again made him extremely happy. He was smiling again.
The phone rang for a good 30 seconds after which it was finally answered by a girl with a young voice she yelled into the phone for some reason " Didi nahne gai hai baadmain phone karo " *click*
Arush assumed it was just her way of avoiding him again he was just about to start playing " I'd love you to want me " when the phone rang. It was her. "Hello ? " 
" Hey Arush , you called sorry that was my maid "
" Oh yeah right , the maid . " He smiled to himself at the memory of when the same maid had caught them kissing in her house once . She had to be cajoled and convinced not to tell anyone .
"So tell me ? "
She seemed so normal he thought like it wasn't affecting her . " Well aren't we friends Poo ? "
" Umm ofcourse we are , why ? " 
" Well then I'd like to meet you and congratulate you for the engagement and all " 
"Sure" poo chimed .
" Really ? " 
"Yeah , why not . Tomorrow Jogger's Park , 6 pm sharp. Don't be late " 
"Ok" he said .

to be continued....

O yeah fireworks :D

When you wish upon a star , makes no difference who you are ; 

Anything your heart desires will come to you  =)