Newhoo so where were we ? Yes attachment . I'm attached to people and then they become so important it gets really hard to not be insecure and give them all you can..even if they don't appreciate/understand the attachment ..i love and then i love too much and then it starts hurting but i still love till i can't anymore then i love someone else . Is that wierd ? I don't know. I don't know the meaning of just enough. I don't know when to stop ( this is the case in many areas ) I don't know when to say yeah okay that's it i'm not going to let something affect me. I'm writing this post at 3.50 am with flies in my head literally not a thought is passing through ..nothing just some kind of vague fear of loss or the fear of future loss .
Is it wrong to keep someone believing that you still care about them and that your still that attached ..or falling apart is a part of life and facing it the reality . Many times i want to ask people close to me DO YOU LOVE ME ? DO YOU REALLY ? i need a certain reassurance from time to time to know that yes someone somewhere does love me at all times no matter what . And i think everyone needs that ..but no one accepts it ? Pride ? Ego ? Well i do ..i need the reassurance that i'm loved not at every moment not everyday but yes often ! Attention deficit syndrome ? I don't think so ...more like i am a compassionate person that's all..and this is a recent development ..a few years back i was very unattached , not bothered about anyone almost brutally selfish ..maybe later some people came into my life who i wanted to be attached to ..some people i wanted to call my own ..some people i would do anything for ..I became more generous ..loving ..not understanding just loving ...!
Sometimes i'm so unreasonable and want things to go my way..so stubborn but i want someone to say they'll deal with it and thats all its going to take to make me more understanding and less stubborn , more secure . I want to be a secure person ...i want to be sure of people ..i want to not be scared of loss ...SOMEDAY !
Ps : People who read this post will know more about me than someone who has known me all my life :) So don't judge eat fudge :P