Monday, 12 September 2011

Praying to a God I just don't believe in.

I've never been an atheist but i just don't get the concept of idol worship. Basically its just us humans giving something we believe in form ..physical existence of some sort right? You go there stand in the long queues , push people around , smell their sweat and stand in front of the idol for about 4 seconds before the security starts yelling "PUDHE CHALA". What's the point ? How does anyone get to decide how much time i spend with my God. For me all Gods were the same ..I would love going to a church or to a mosque sometimes more than a normal hindu temple . I loved something and some tradition of every religion and made my own unique belief system when i was a child .
  Since I was a kid I've been brought up to believe that praying is important ..when you pray God helps you ..I pray everyday but i still have bad days I still have my tears rolling down my face is what i always thought .Why would God punish me even after I prayed .? Children are naive that way and then one day i realized what the reason for this was ( I'm going to use this explaination for my kids :P ) We remember God only when we have problems and only then do we go to HIM ( It just is a him for me , sorry feminists ) so when we have problems we should just think that God is missing us and wants us to remember him :)
   My grandparents were always religious people but after their only son's death it has somewhat become a way of living had lost meaning probably . Now they take vacations to religious places and religious places only ..or they just manage to find a temple even in the most happening cities  ( eg Singapore , Malaysia like who  goes there to visit a temple ) . Once again beyond me why people travel miles to visit temples . You could visit the smallest temple at the end of the road or even sit at home and pray why make it into a big deal..what's the difference anyway . I know someone who believes in this amazing theory that says God resides in your loved ones :) Its such a beautiful thought ..God is being loved by you when you appreciate and love the people around you . He's within everybody :D
  But today for some reason I felt the need to ask questions not just to something within me or within anybody ..ask questions to God , the one I can see , the one people believe in . I just had to ..I cried all the way there and when i was there it was all gone just some kind of wierd peace. No didn't get any answers ..didn't feel any sort of enlightenment just inner peace :) I could sit there all day and cry and just vent but i didn't want to look like a freak and i also don't cry in public places ..this rule got broken too many times today but what the hell . Its Faith ...people come to these places with faith that everything will be okay that their prayers will be answered ...Faith that someone out there is looking out for them ...the power of the human mind is beyond our understanding and i keep saying that's why all these Babas are so successful ..They give you some powder and suddenly your cured its not magic and no that rich bugger doesn't have healing powers and that powder is just ash but the faith that applying that , drinking that ( yuck ) will cure you is what gets you through .
   So does this make me an atheist if I think everything is in our control and their is some divine power up there that created us but beyond that there is nothing anyone else can do except you. But today i still felt that peace, I still asked for better days ..I still thanked for a good life, Faith ?
PS :  My FB religious views say : "Spiritual but not religious" 

I bought this from there and intend to keep it with me from now on at all times :) For all those who are superly curious i went to Siddhivinayak :D


  1. These days God too seems to be busy in His branches on earth, the temples. And His personal secretaries, or what they pretend to be when they hush and push you in haste, the pundits, We'll need to talk about them with their Boss!

    And it's all right, He's God. There could be (are) Goddesses too!

    Blasphemous Aesthete

  2. Why worry about tags?
    There are several (possible) explanations to what you (and others) might have felt @ temple visits/prayers.
    Since you are already questioning the hows and whys about the procedure of 'connect' with the divine with or without his earthly agents, you should consider the how and why of prayers and may be the whole concept of the almighty. And do it in a temple. The serene environment over there is suitable for clear, unbiased thinking. =)

    Just another curious human being.