Woah ! Dream Big ;)

 ( This is one of the many ranting drafts I have not published . Don't read it . You have been warned . )

Why ..why..why are you still reading ? Fine be that way, but leave the judgmental mind behind.

I am such a fickle minded person . Put choices in front of me and watch me look at you stupidly as if I was asked about something on quantum physics. I just can't pick . My life choices have been a series of choice by elimination decisions , the 'not this theory' in my words.
      So yes , where were we ? I took Commerce simply because Science didn't seem like my thing due to the incapacity to understand physics and also heart wrenching reactions towards blood and human gums or organs etc .Arts was more like a hobby didn't know if I wanted to make a career out of anything that they had on their curriculum. I secretly wish I had taken Arts though ..but the 15 year old me was really stupid .  I wanted to go to a particular college just because I wanted to . No reason . Just ( Yeah I'm wierd like that ) It was an obsession to get admission there and they offered only Commerce and this dear people is choice by elimination.
  You may wonder where this is going to take me ? To a lot of money apparently , studying CA aren't I . Yeah big bucks there my friend , big bucks. It doesn't interest me though and I don't really care about the money. No , I'm not a saint but money is and will always be secondary. I want to explore , do what I love . But before that I need to find what I truly love to be able to do it for a relatively long time. I have no clue why , after I passed the inter exam my first reaction was damn , I'm stuck. I struck a deal with my Mom that I'll give it my best but if I don't clear it would be it for me , I'm knocking some other door. But no life has its mysterious and annoying ways to piss me off. There are thousands , literally thousands wanting to be where I am ( I don't get why . ) but here I am wasting a seat and I realize that but I genuinely don't know what to do.
  The articleship period is really dull . Please don't say find your calling , do what interests you , do what you like best . If you think I haven't thought about it ofcourse I have . My calling lost my number and I lost my calling's number too ( new phone and all that .. sorry lame ) . Just what is calling anyway. I want work to be fun , and work will stop being fun once it becomes a routine. So even if I have a job where I party everyday , one day I'll be sick and won't want to party . Right ? Apparently it seems no one likes their job . I met someone through a mutual friend , she does event management and marketing for movies through social media , can you believe it . Her job profile is to use social networking sites to promote the said events and movies . Getting paid to while away time on facebook :\ and attending free parties with an open bar and free food . She doesn't like it , like all the socializing is apparently too tiring . Hello ? I'd love to spend all my life meeting new people at parties :O ! I'm a people person that way. I envy people who know what they want to do and are already working towards getting there . I have a friend whose doing Hotel Management and he actually loves it. Cooking , folding sheets , waiting tables and cleaning washrooms , I don't get it but who am I to judge. We tease him a lot but inside I really respect his choice and I'm sure he's going to do some amazing things with his life , because he loves what he does. I want to do so many things.

My I want to list -

• I want to study Law
• I want to get a PhD in Literature 
• I want to learn about early history
• I want to study criminal psychology
• I want to know about the Orion Galaxy
• I want to study evolution 
• I want to do mass communication
• I want to write a book :O :P
• I want to do a full time MBA outside Mumbai
• I want to dissect a frog ( not really )
• I want to do none of the above and go on never ending trip ( yeah right who doesn't ?) 

But you know you get the drift . How am I going to do ALL this ? Don't know . 

My aptitude test revealed I should be a architect , A CA , an interior decorator , DJ ( yes DJ ) and I should also try my hands on gardening and 100 other things .:| So don't blame me for not putting my faith into 1500 MCQs about my interest and sorts. I feel a little direction less , not ambition less directionless. 
     I have big dreams , so big that sometimes it scares me . I'm taking it one day at a time , while giving my 100 % in the moment . Let's say I'll keep this space updated with where this mess takes me ;) To all those who do know , what they want to do with their life . Go ahead and do it . Live it up. Cause one day you don't want to blame someone else for how your life turned out , trust me . :)

PS : I updated my Photography page . Its barely a 'Photography' page , more like a bunch of my random clicks :) You can see it here. Let me know what you think 
PPS: This is my 50th post :) *little joys*